As Jim climbed into his car, he shivered as he thought to himself "the paper shop is only down the road, but it is too cold to walk". Jane was running late as usual. She yelled at the kids to put their seat belts on. She tutted to herself as she saw Jim pull away, "why doesn't he walk to the paper shop, it's only round the corner" she grumbled. 5 minutes later, she pulled up on the 'school keep clear' zig-zags before shooing the kids out of the car into school.
Raj finally got fed up with sitting in the daily traffic jam, stuck there because just down the road parents would be dropping off the kids at the school. "Bollocks to this" he thought and so he overtook the queue on the wrong side of the road before swerving off down a side road, just missing a person crossing, "bloody zombie pedestrians, never look where they are going" he muttered as he slowed down behind the queue of people who had done the same thing as him. Sam shouted after the car which nearly hit her as she crossed the side road, "what were you thinking being on the wrong side of the road!"
John had to step on the brake sharply as the car came towards him, "didn't he see me for goodness sake, I'll have a passenger complain about my driving; I am sure that guy using the wheelchair at the last bus stop will have something to say because I didn't stop, but I just couldn't get into the kerb because of that idiot parked there to go into the shop" he groaned.
Bill looked up from his book as the bus lurched, now stuck in the middle of the junction "this flipping bus journey gets worse and worse, stuck in this blasted traffic every day. Why can't they just rephase the traffic lights at this stupid junction", he thought.
Emily was already late for college and rather than ambling along her normal route by the canal, she decided to take the direct route which involves a diagonal crossing at Campbell junction, "six green men to cross, I would have been better off by the canal after all", she groaned as she dodged a bus which was blocking the crossing.
Yannis was arguing with a bloke on a bike, "I have a delivery to make and I can't go round the corner", "but you are not only blocking the cycle lane, just look at the traffic jam you have caused back through the lights" countered Paul. "It's not my fault", said Yannis," I have to make this drop now, otherwise I won't make by next one on the other side of town". Jess smiled as she weaved through the traffic thinking "why is he arguing with that van driver, he stops there every morning". SMASH. Jim hadn't seen the cyclist as he opened his door.
Yes friends, it's the run up to Halloween and this is my little hat-tip to the season, but this is not a nightmare. It is far worse then that. This is real life and is found daily in many of our towns and cities where we lurch on in a stupor worthy of a character from the brain of George Romero; unable to comprehend that there are better ways to run our local transport networks. Yes, the Zombie Apocalypse is here, we are the zombies and this is our very own Zombie Nation. They're us. We're them and they're us.